


(Real Sweet) But I Wish You were Sober

by tobiowithnobrim



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, Marijuana, Partying, Short One Shot, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 07:27:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27150067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tobiowithnobrim/pseuds/tobiowithnobrim
Summary: Hajime wrestles with the fact that Oikawa will only kiss him when he's drunk.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 3
Kudos: 67





	(Real Sweet) But I Wish You were Sober

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by conan gray's "wish you were sober"

Hajime pretended not to taste the beer on Oikawa’s tongue. When Oikawa kissed him with conviction in the backseat of his car on Friday nights was the only time such exchanges were made. In his sobriety, all they were was friends. They went to classes together, hooked up with girls on the side, and generally had a very platonic relationship.

But four Sapporos down and here they were, in the backseat of Hajime’s Jeep Rover all over each other.

“Hajime. . .” Oikawa said breathlessly, between kisses. “Haji. . . me. . .”

“Let’s stop, Oikawa,” Hajime said, pulling away. “You taste like beer.”

“Well I’ve had some.”

“And I haven’t,” stated Hajime dully. “It’s not right.”

“Come on, you’re so boring. You weren’t like this last Friday.” His voice was sultry and suggestive. Yes, Hajime remembered last Friday but in pieces. He recalled downing one beer after another, drunkenly grabbing Oikawa and pulling him to somebody’s bedroom, remembered clothes scattered on the floor and a pounding headache after. But that was all.

“Yeah, I was plastered last Friday too,” Hajime replied. “Let’s go.”

“Back to your room?”

“To yours,” Hajime corrected. He slipped out of the car and into the driver’s seat. Oikawa sat patiently in the backseat, patterned button-up shirt falling off his shoulder. 

“Seriously?” he slurred. “What a killjoy. I bet Testu doesn’t even want me back. Maybe he’s got a girl over.”

“I don’t care,” said Hajime. “We’re not going back to that party.” He turned the keys in the slot and the car whirred to life.

Hajime drove a pouty, horny, drunk Oikawa Tooru back to his dorm room, back to his stoned roommate (luckily, Kuroo did not have a girl over). He kissed him before forcing him into his dorm.After that, he went back to his dorm room a floor beneath. He showered, changed, then lay in bed. A thought crossed his mind, foolish and fleeting, if Oikawa was doing the same thing.

The next Friday at seven in the evening, Oikawa sent him a text as he always did.

_there’s a party at kayano’s. wanna go?_

Hajime felt a sudden warmth in his stomach.

_sure_

_uber this time ;)_

He smiled at this and changed into a collared shirt and shorts and met Oikawa in the common, where their Uber was waiting.

Kayano was someone Hajime had never formally met, only heard about from Oikawa. From what he’d told him, Kayano dealt him weed and alcohol, and, being a junior, lived off-campus with a few other boys, and held parties as often as he could. Hajime inferred that he must have met Kayano at one point but had forgotten.

This time, Hajime allowed himself a few drinks of hard seltzer. Oikawa, on the other hand, allowed himself access to the entire cooler. He had a red Solo cup in his hand filled with all sorts of alcohol and a weed pen in the other and stood somewhere in the crowd of people in the large living room. Hajime sat at the top of the steps, gripping his seltzer tightly. His stomach was warm and fuzzy, maybe from more than the alcohol.

“I can’t believe you have her,” said Hanamaki next to him. “She’s the worst. When my computer broke and I asked for an extension on the project, she said no and failed me.”

Matsukawa grimaced. “Really? God, now I wished I dropped the class. Humanities is stupid anyway.”

Hanamaki nodded and took a drink of beer. “Not the DD tonight, eh, Iwa-chan?”

Hajime looked at him and shook his head. “We’re Ubering. But I’m not drunk anyway.”

“You look like you need to be,” said Matsukawa. “You look mad.”

“RMF. Resting mad face,” Hanamaki said and Matsukawa elbowed him and laughed.

Hajime glared at them both. “I’m just waiting for Oikawa. He’s a fucking alcoholic.”

“Man just wants to live his life,” said Hanamaki in a mock-philosophical voice. “Is that so bad?”

“Iwa-chan just wants to fuck him,” said Matsukawa. 

Hajime drank from his can. “Shut up. And stop calling me that.”

“Oikawa calls you that, doesn’t he?” Matsukawa asked. “Why is it so different?”

“Iwa-chan!” There was no mistaking the slurring of words from the foot of the stairs. Oikawa leaned against the guardrail, shirt disheveled and hair messed up. His eyes were half-lidded and lips swollen. Instead of thinking about why, Hajime promptly finished his can.

“Speak of the devil,” Hanamaki said with a laugh. “Yo, Oikawa! Lemme grab that pen.”

Oikawa clutched the dab pen closer to his chest. “No, dummy.”

“It’s definitely mine,” Hanamaki replied, standing up and making his way down the stairs. “And have you even used it? You just look drunk.”

“I’m just. . .” Oikawa contemplated with furrowed brows while staring at the device, “just. . . thinking about it. . .”

“Please shut the fuck up,” Hanamaki said, snatching the pen out of his hand. “You’re so dumb.”

Oikawa frowned and took a drink. “That’s mean, Makki. Only Iwa-chan is nice to me, out of all of you.”

“Iwa-chan is having a sober Saturday,” said Matsukawa laughing. 

“It’s Friday, dipshit.”

“Friday, then.” Matsukawa took a drink.

“Iwa-chan, we’re Ubering you know?” Oikawa asked gently. His abnormally caring voice was the alcohol in his system for sure, repeating things everyone already knew.

“Yeah, I know. Lemme get another White Claw.”

Oikawa smiled. He rushed back into the crowd, excited to get it.

“You’re such an idiot, Iwaizumi,” said Hanamaki.

“Fuck you.”

“You like him so bad, don’tcha!” Matsukawa said accusingly. “Why don’t you just tell ‘im?”

“It’s so stupid. I’m so stupid,” Hajime muttered. He wished he was drunker so he wouldn’t care about this. “I’m not gonna tell him.”

“What? Why?” asked Matsukawa.

“Yeah, I’m sure if you told him, he’d say he likes you back,” Hanamaki added.

“He only likes me when he’s wasted,” said Hajime bitterly. “I wish he was sober.”

“Tell him when he’s sober,” Matsukawa suggested, “and then you’ll know.”

“Why the fuck would I do that? He might remember it.”

“So tell him drunk then.” This was Hanamaki. 

“You guys are useless,” Hajime declared, lying on his back. 

“Iwa-chan!” Oikawa had returned, with a can this time. He tossed it up the stairs and Hajime caught it and opened it, drinking quickly. Oikawa walked up and took a seat on the step below him and rested his back against the railing. 

“Whatcha talking about?”

Matsukawa snorted into his drink and coughed. “Dick.”

“What?”

“Chick,” said Matsukawa. “We’re talking about girls.”

“What?” Oikawa asked again, furrowing his brow. He sighed and took another drink. “Let’s go, Iwa-chan.” He stood up and took Hajime’s free hand.

Hanamaki whistled. “You can tell us to fuck off instead. C’mon, Mattsun.”

Matsukawa stood up and high-fived Hanamaki before they descended down the stairs.

“Now that you’re sufficiently. . .” Oikawa’s voice trailed off as he searched for the words. He motioned with his hand as if it would fill in what he was trying to say. “. . .tipsy, wanna go in that bedroom?”

Hajime thought of Oikawa’s lips, thought of the taste of beer on his breath and clumsy, drunken sex on someone else’s bed. He didn’t want that. “No,” he said.

“Iwa-chan!” Oikawa whined. “So disagreeable.”

“The music’s too loud,” Hajime said. “And you’re too drunk.”

“I’m not even that drunk,” Oikawa said. “Look, I can walk just fine.” He walked with his arms spread out down the hallway, but stumbled. “See? Just fine.”

Hajime shook his head once again.

Oikawa downed the rest of his cup. “I’ll be right back. I’ll get you another drink.”

“I don’t want one,” said Hajime assertively.

“Then I’ll get myself one,” he declared, raising the empty red cup.

When Oikawa descended back down the stairs to the first floor, Hajime sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. What he wouldn’t give to be alone with Oikawa, stone-cold sober, somewhere no one else was. Perhaps in a secluded parking lot where he could kiss him without knowing that Oikawa was only giving him attention because of his inebriation. He wanted to be safe in the knowledge that Oikawa kissed him because he wanted to, not because the alcohol did.

“I traded drinks with that girl!” exclaimed Oikawa, stumbling up the stairs. Hajime caught him just before falling. “Her’s was really. . . really bad.”

“Why would you trade drinks with someone you don’t even know?” Hajime asked.

Oikawa shrugged. “Don’t know. But she was pretty. Pretty. She must’ve added hand sanitizer to this because--”

Hajime cut him off by snatching the cup out of his hands. “That’s enough of that.”

Oikawa leaned against him and made puppy eyes. “Oh Iwa-chan, no!”

“I’ll be right back,” Hajime said. “I’ll get you something really really good.”

“Like what?” Oikawa asked in a peppy tone. 

“Like something that if you drink, I’ll fuck you in front of everyone.”

“Really?” 

“Really.”

“Sick,” Oikawa said. He sat back on the stairs, back to the wall, and closed his eyes. “Hurry up then, Iwa-chan.”

Hajime nodded and walked down the stairs. He pushed his way through the crowd of people and to the cooler, where he picked up an empty beer. He poured what he could of the beer into his seltzer can and the rest into the sink. Then, he filled it with water and added some Coke to make the liquid look brown.

“I’m back, Oikawa.”

Oikawa raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t that just a beer?”

“It’s a special beer. Kayano gave it to me himself. He told me he stayed up all night in the lab perfecting this just for you.”

“Wait, really?”

Hajime nodded and gave it to Oikawa, who immediately began drinking it. 

“Iwa-chan, this tastes really. . . watery.”

“‘Cause Kayano knows you hate beer that tastes alcoholic. Like Natty Bohs and stuff. He made sure this doesn’t taste alcoholic.” Hajime took a seat next to him.

“I think you’re lying,” Oikawa said, but kept drinking anyway. “Iwa-chan,” he murmured for no particular reason. He placed the beer can next to him and took Hajime’s face in his hands.

“Iwa-chan, I think you are very handsome.”

Hajime leaned forward and kissed him gently. Oikawa returned it.

“Let’s go soon,” Hajime mumbled. As much as he hated to admit it, he felt a little buzzed and energetic.

“Let’s stay,” Oikawa countered. “I want to kiss you some more.”

Hajime pulled away. “No. You’re too drunk.”

“Drunk actions are sober thoughts, Iwa-chan.”

“You know that’s not true. We can’t have this conversation here. It’s too loud.”

“It’s too loud, it’s too loud, it’s too loud,” Oikawa muttered, taking a drink of his fake alcohol. “What else? I’m too drunk, I’m too drunk, I’m too drunk. You’ve already said everything.” He brought his knees to his chest and rested his forehead on them, covering his face.

“You are,” said Hajime.

Oikawa’s voice was muffled. “Tell Kayano his alcohol is shit. It doesn’t even help me.”

“With what?”

“Kissing you,” said Oikawa, bringing up his head. “You’re not kissing me right now. Maybe I should drink some more.”

“What?”

“You only like me when I’m drunk.”

“ _You_ only like _me_ when you’re drunk,” Hajime corrected. 

“Ah! Are you serious right now!” Oikawa exclaimed, throwing his hands dramatically over his forehead. “This whole time! This whole time! This whole time!”

“What’re you even talking about?” Hajime asked, although he thought he might have an idea.

“Oh, I’m too drunk. I shouldn’t be drinking.”

“What?”

“Would you kiss me?”

Hajime furrowed his brow and his eyes darted around. “What are you on about?”

“If I was sober, would you kiss me?”

Hajime felt his cheeks heat up. “Sure. . . yeah.”

“Oh, this whole time!” Oikawa curled into Hajime’s side. “Let’s leave, Iwa-chan.”

“I thought you wanted to stay!” Hajime said. “I’m so confused.”

“This whole time. . .” Oikawa stumbled over his words, “I’ve been. . . been getting drunk because I thought you only liked me drunk. You only liked me drunk. . . but. . . you would kiss me sober. Would you kiss me sober?”

“Yes, I would kiss you sober.”

“Will you kiss me tomorrow morning?”

“Yes.”

“If I spend the night in your room? If the RA doesn’t catch us?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, Iwa-chan. Let’s get out of here. Don’t say bye to Makki and Mattsun.” He took Hajime’s hand and led him down the stairs. “Oh, it’s a good night!”

“Oikawa, what is going on?”

“I’m so glad you’ll kiss me sober.” Oikawa wrapped his arm around Hajime’s shoulders. “I don’t have to get drunk for you to kiss me.”

And it made sense. And all this time Hajime thought Oikawa only liked him because of the alcohol, Oikawa had thought the same thing. And they had been on the same page for so long, too long, that now the words were blurring together and read the same. Each thought the other could only love him if he was drunk. 

And Hajime was glad. Sometime, he would take Oikawa to a secluded overlook and kiss him there. He would kiss him and not taste the alcohol on his tongue.

He woke up the next morning and rolled over to see Oikawa asleep. He kissed him once gently and loved him even more.

**Author's Note:**

> i would say this is my first fic but it really isn't i just moved accounts LOL. it became a "how much slang can i put in one fic" so apologies about that! thanks for reading!


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